All right! Let's see what's entered the Billboard chart this week!
Debuting at 22
Trey Songz Feat Nicki Minaj- Bottoms Up
Let me state, before I listen to this song... I already hate it. Trey Songz? Bottoms Up? I feel like I just dropped into a porno.
Oh, yeah. Bottoms up is a drinking term. Sure. Now we have both a drinking and a sexual innuendo. Charming.
The first lyrics?
"It's Mister Steal Your Girl!"
...>_>
This is gonna suck.
Yep, it did. It's a giant alcohol-fueled sexual innuendo. Not even Nicki Minaj could save this. This song was very... unnecessary. That's what it was.
My Rating: F
Debuting at 58
Katy Perry- Circle the Drain
Another week, another Katy Perry Song gets popular. I only accept this kind of radio frequency from B.o.B. so slow down.
This song is so 80s. And not good 80s like that cool Weebls Animated video my English friend had me review.
And this song is effing twisted for Katy Perry. Sure, Just Like The Movies was dark, but this song... it's freaking twisted. And... what the hale? Did Katy Perry just say the F word? Holy Crap! I'm shocked! Usually she's pretty controversial in lyrics, but I'm more shocked that she just said the F word 4 or 5 times than I was that they allowed "U R So Gay" and "I Kissed A Girl" on the radio in 07 or 08 or... whatever, you get my point.
This song is not really worth the listen. Too much shock value, and since this is Katy Perry, this is saying something.
Rating: D-
Debuting at 77
Zac Brown Band feat Alan Jackson- As She's Walking Away.
Okay, let me get one thing clear. I DO not Like Country Music. I love Modern Bluegrass such as Nickel Creek and Mumford and Sons, and for that matter, every other kind of music except death metal and country.
And this song is so typical Country, it bores me. It sounds like many other country songs I've heard. The tune, the lyrics about heartbreak, it's so... Country. And even if I did like Country, I'd be pretty bored by this.
Rating: C-
God, these just aren't going my way today.
What's next?
*looks at chart*
No. Just... No.
I mean, you've got to be kidding me! Come ON!
*sighs*
Okay, debuting at 89 is...
*quietly sobs*
The Bed Intruder Song by Antoine Dodson and the Gregory Brothers featuring Kelly Dodson.
And you've got to be freaking kidding me! I didn't know this, but It's a godforsaken Youtube Remix! You know, those dumb, brainless autotunes made out of Youtube Clips that some people find funny.
And in this case, it's about a Rapist. Charming.
Okay, I'll admit, it's mildly funny. The situation is more funny than this song though. And this better not be on the radio anytime soon.
Rating: D
Grumble Grumble Grumble
And now for more weirdness.
Debuting at number 92 is
Like a G6 from the Far East Movement
Want a short summary? It's a song about getting drunk. And apparently so were the writers. Cause... what the heck is a G6? Do I even want to know?
The beat is pretty catchy, I actually found myself dancing to it a bit. If all they had was the beat, I'd probably put this on my MP3 Player.
Rating: C-
Oh, goody. It gets a bit better.
Debuting at 96 is
Rythmn of Love by Plain White Ts.
This song was late. Summer just ended. And it's a crying shame. This song screams summer. Summer, and Jason Mraz. I actually forgot this was Plain White Ts for a moment. That's not altogether good, but, hey, I like Jason Mraz. The lyrics are pretty weightless, in fact, I think it floats. Overall, just what I needed.
Rating: B-
Oh, this is pretty good, now, let's see, what's next?
Ugh.
Debuting at 97
The Ready Set- Love Like Woe
This is like if Owl City did Hip-Hop. It's very average and not particularily good either, in fact, this song annoys me. Sure it's a bit catchy, but mostly it makes no sense to me. Love Like Woe? Like "Sadness" or "You Misspelled Whoa?" It's trying to hard to be catchy, and in some respects it works, but mostly, it just grates.
Rating: D
Man, this review has just been a laundry list of failures. I have a feeling nothing is gonna resurrect this.
*looks at chart*
Could...Could it be?
IT IS!
Oh my god, thank you thank you thank you! You just saved this review!
Debuting at Number 98 is
Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons! :D
This UK Bluegrass song is revolutionary. It modernizes Bluegrass and turns it into a radio-ready hit. The lyrics are rather dark, without being nauseating, and while they do uselessly throw around an F word in the chorus, which is really uncharacteristic for Bluegrass, the music is played with a lot of power and a lot of heart, and not at all like American Bluegrass. This song is amazing, and one of my favorites.
Rating: A
All right, what's left?
Debuting at 100 is
Hot Tottie By Usher and Jay-Z
*remembers how I heard how foul this song is*
OH NO! NOT TODAY! *shoots song*
All better!
Well, that was a rather disappointing week of debuts. Let's hope most of them fall 50 or so spots like the unfortunate Catalyst Did.
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