Sunday, August 22, 2010

(M) New Top 100 Billboard Entries of The Week (This Week... YES! I love this song!)

All right! Let's see what's entered the Billboard chart this week!

Debuting at 22

Trey Songz Feat Nicki Minaj- Bottoms Up

Let me state, before I listen to this song... I already hate it. Trey Songz? Bottoms Up? I feel like I just dropped into a porno.

Oh, yeah. Bottoms up is a drinking term. Sure. Now we have both a drinking and a sexual innuendo. Charming.

The first lyrics?

"It's Mister Steal Your Girl!"

...>_>

This is gonna suck.

Yep, it did. It's a giant alcohol-fueled sexual innuendo. Not even Nicki Minaj could save this. This song was very... unnecessary. That's what it was.

My Rating: F

Debuting at 58

Katy Perry- Circle the Drain

Another week, another Katy Perry Song gets popular. I only accept this kind of radio frequency from B.o.B. so slow down.

This song is so 80s. And not good 80s like that cool Weebls Animated video my English friend had me review.

And this song is effing twisted for Katy Perry. Sure, Just Like The Movies was dark, but this song... it's freaking twisted. And... what the hale? Did Katy Perry just say the F word? Holy Crap! I'm shocked! Usually she's pretty controversial in lyrics, but I'm more shocked that she just said the F word 4 or 5 times than I was that they allowed "U R So Gay" and "I Kissed A Girl" on the radio in 07 or 08 or... whatever, you get my point.

This song is not really worth the listen. Too much shock value, and since this is Katy Perry, this is saying something.

Rating: D-

Debuting at 77

Zac Brown Band feat Alan Jackson- As She's Walking Away.

Okay, let me get one thing clear. I DO not Like Country Music. I love Modern Bluegrass such as Nickel Creek and Mumford and Sons, and for that matter, every other kind of music except death metal and country.

And this song is so typical Country, it bores me. It sounds like many other country songs I've heard. The tune, the lyrics about heartbreak, it's so... Country. And even if I did like Country, I'd be pretty bored by this.

Rating: C-

God, these just aren't going my way today.

What's next?

*looks at chart*

No. Just... No.

I mean, you've got to be kidding me! Come ON!

*sighs*

Okay, debuting at 89 is...

*quietly sobs*

The Bed Intruder Song by Antoine Dodson and the Gregory Brothers featuring Kelly Dodson.

And you've got to be freaking kidding me! I didn't know this, but It's a godforsaken Youtube Remix! You know, those dumb, brainless autotunes made out of Youtube Clips that some people find funny.

And in this case, it's about a Rapist. Charming.

Okay, I'll admit, it's mildly funny. The situation is more funny than this song though. And this better not be on the radio anytime soon.

Rating: D

Grumble Grumble Grumble

And now for more weirdness.

Debuting at number 92 is

Like a G6 from the Far East Movement

Want a short summary? It's a song about getting drunk. And apparently so were the writers. Cause... what the heck is a G6? Do I even want to know?

The beat is pretty catchy, I actually found myself dancing to it a bit. If all they had was the beat, I'd probably put this on my MP3 Player.

Rating: C-

Oh, goody. It gets a bit better.

Debuting at 96 is

Rythmn of Love by Plain White Ts.

This song was late. Summer just ended. And it's a crying shame. This song screams summer. Summer, and Jason Mraz. I actually forgot this was Plain White Ts for a moment. That's not altogether good, but, hey, I like Jason Mraz. The lyrics are pretty weightless, in fact, I think it floats. Overall, just what I needed.

Rating: B-

Oh, this is pretty good, now, let's see, what's next?

Ugh.

Debuting at 97

The Ready Set- Love Like Woe

This is like if Owl City did Hip-Hop. It's very average and not particularily good either, in fact, this song annoys me. Sure it's a bit catchy, but mostly it makes no sense to me. Love Like Woe? Like "Sadness" or "You Misspelled Whoa?" It's trying to hard to be catchy, and in some respects it works, but mostly, it just grates.

Rating: D

Man, this review has just been a laundry list of failures. I have a feeling nothing is gonna resurrect this.

*looks at chart*

Could...Could it be?

IT IS!

Oh my god, thank you thank you thank you! You just saved this review!

Debuting at Number 98 is

Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons! :D

This UK Bluegrass song is revolutionary. It modernizes Bluegrass and turns it into a radio-ready hit. The lyrics are rather dark, without being nauseating, and while they do uselessly throw around an F word in the chorus, which is really uncharacteristic for Bluegrass, the music is played with a lot of power and a lot of heart, and not at all like American Bluegrass. This song is amazing, and one of my favorites.

Rating: A

All right, what's left?

Debuting at 100 is

Hot Tottie By Usher and Jay-Z

*remembers how I heard how foul this song is*

OH NO! NOT TODAY! *shoots song*

All better!

Well, that was a rather disappointing week of debuts. Let's hope most of them fall 50 or so spots like the unfortunate Catalyst Did.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

(M) Cam and T_Boy Review Music!

Welcome to a new segment with a new aspiring music critic!

In this segment, uhm... T_Boy... *snickers uncontrollably* and I will send each other 3 songs we like, then the other reviews the songs. Considering our very opposing music tastes, this will be very entertaining, aye?

Well, let's waste no time!

*MY SONGS*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ny4deVFsYuo <------Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine

Why I like this: The Lyrics are Creative and there's a great amount of build-up that pays off

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjvDwYCf7gc <------The Catalyst by Linkin Park

Why I like this: The Background Music and the fact that it stays true to Linkin Park

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdOA4zpGYNo&feature=fvst <----Club Can't Handle Me by Flo Rida feat Guetta

Why I like this: It's one of my favorite dance tracks because the positivity and great beat.

*T_Boy's Songs*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF3LGwnW3aw <---Single Ladies - Beyonce
Reason: I like this 'cause it's a somehwat good song to dance too. If gets me happy... :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy8shDCn__8 <---California Gurls - Katy Perry
Reason: I like the tune too this and it seems like a good beach song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3C_anoePog <---Imma Be - The Black Eyed Peas
Reason: This song is so good! I love the Peas! Not the veggies, of course, but...

*My Songs Reviewed By T_Boy*
Florence + The Machines - Dog Days Are Over

Review
Honestly, this song...I just couldn't hear it... I haven't listened to it. I need to get the beat and tune in my head, but it's just.....not getting their. Is this their best work? I can't completely agree.

C-

Linkin Park - The Catalyst

Review
Wow! This song...it just seemed quite amazing to me! It may be a new favorite! *puts song on list of songs need to be downloaded on itunes* It was amazing throughout the entire song! I mean, I just think it's amazing I'm listening to it now. It has a beat and a tune that gets stuck in my head! (Dang, In My Head is in my head....AAARRGH!!)

B+

Flo Rida - Club Can't Handle Me (Ft. David Guetta)

David Gretta....heheh.....funny spelling corrections...wait...the review? Oh yes!

Positively, the song just called me and I followed. I love it. It's such and amazing dancing song! I started dancing when I heard this song! Enough said, it deserves a...

A-

*T_Boy's Songs reviewed by Me*

Single Ladies- Beyonce

Ah, Single Ladies. The All-too-famous song that takes the dignity away from any guy caught with that on his MP3 Player, especially when he sings it by accident.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love the beat. The beat is a total dance tune. And in all fairness, the lyrics are OK. They would be empowering if I were a girl. To be honest, I can't really enjoy this song cause it's very focused on one gender. It's aimed to empower women, especially ones with toolbox ex-boyfriends. For guys... it's just a dance track.

My rating: C

California Gurls- Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg

Let's start with the positive. The concept of a West Coast "Empire State Of Mind" is very cool. Go Us on the West Coast. But while Jay-Z gave us reasons aplenty, some good, some bad, and didn't necessarily glorify New York, Katy Perry gives us a song that ultimately sings one lyric in 20 different ways "California Girls are hot. Love us now."

It's bland. Sure, the tune is... not bad, but the song is just so repetitive. And the rapping style of Snoop Dogg... it's like they freaking took the awesomeness out of Snoop and made him rap like B.o.B. That's not his style.

Overall, it's Boring and repetitive with a reason that sucks to begin with. It's a bad song.

My rating: D-

Imma Be- Black Eyed Peas

The Lyrics are OK. Let's get that out of the way. The lyrics are only OK. Fergie sings typical song lyrics, and as a matter of fact, so do the rest.

But the music is the strength. The Black Eyed Peas have constructed one of the strongest dance tracks ever. Every beat is danceable even by the worst novice (me) and is just all-around enjoyable, especially towards the end, so much that you don't really pay attention to the lyrics.

Rating: B-

Tadah.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

(M) New Top 100 Billboard Entries of The Week (This Week Includes Taylor Swift and Linkin Park

That's right. Every week I will look for 4 standing out new songs on the Top 40 Billboard Chart and review them, to see if they really deserve their fame.

Debuting at 3

Taylor Swift-Mine

I'll admit, when I saw I'd have to review a Taylor Swift song, which included listening to it, I wasn't looking forward to it. Upon listening to it, I won't really mind it too much.

The lyrics are pretty good, strong at some points, but the music was, well, average. It sounds like the rest of her songs, really, in fact in lyrics and music. It's better than a lot of stuff on the radio, trust me, but it's very...average.

My rating: C

Debuting at 35

Linkin Park- The Catalyst

I hear a lot of uproar and complaints that this song doesn't sound like Linkin Park, that it's not their style, and that they destroyed their career with this song. I heard it, and I think all three complaints are wrong.

While not as good as stuff from the Minutes to Midnight album or Reanimation, this song packs the same punch and great mixing we have come to love from Linkin Park. The background music is actually quite different while still being the same, a creepy organ you'd hear at the Circus of Hell. My one beef is that the lyrics sound a lot like other Linkin Park songs, like Linkin Park was being a knock-off of Linkin Park.

My Rating: B

Debuting at 46

Sean Kingston/Nicki Minaj- Letting Go

O_o

The background music sounds like the Catalyst.

The Lyrics are average on Sean Kingston's part, and the course unintelligent (du-dee-du-dee-du-dee-du. I feel like letting go.) And at some points, unneccesarily sexual. Plus it's gonna be in my head for about a week now. But I won't mind the music. Mostly due to it being a Catalyst knockoff.

My Rating: D

Debuting at 50

Jay Sean and Nicki Minaj-2012 (It ain't the end)

Hmm... what does THIS song remind me of? Oh, Down! And Do You Remember? Yes, exactly! Same beat, same style lyrics, in fact the only difference is Nicki Minaj is in it.

Rating: C-

Debuting at 53

Katy Perry-Not Like the Movies

This is Katy Perry?

Katy Perry doing a slow, piano laden sad song?

Ladies and gentlemen, I came into this song expecting the same old Katy Perry song- usually weird lyrics, preppy beat and weird subject.

The lyrics are profound, and it's actually quite beautiful. It's more like Christina Aguilera in style, and to be frank, Katy really freaking needed this change of pace. Now I can enjoy her music.

My rating: B

Debuting at 94

Daughtry-September

Daughtry is pretty awesome. The one beef I have with them is they, like Katy Perry and Jay Sean, have songs that repeat themselves. This song breaks away from the rest.

The lyrics are not about breakups or relationship repair like his songs often revolve around, such as No Surprise, Life Without You, and It's Not Over. It's about memories. And it's beautiful. The music does sound like fall leaves falling to the ground with its gentle, falling guitar chords. The lyrics show the affect of memories on your whole life, of longing for the past. And it's done amazingly.

My Rating: A

Debuting at 96

The Script-The Man Who Can't Be Moved

(inserted from Top 15 songs)

The first lyrics are the single best first lyrics to any song I've ever heard. Can you not tell that you're headed for greatness?

The song is another story, following a brokenhearted man who camps at the street corner his former love and he used to love, waiting for her to come back. Now bearing in mind that his former love may never pass that street corner again and very well may have moved halfway across the world, that shows either extreme insanity or extreme love. I like to think of the latter.

Rating: A

Debuting at 97

Drake ft T.I. and Swizz Beatz-Fancy

IT SOUNDS LIKE ABOUT EVERY OTHER RAP SONG IN THE HISTORY OF RAP, ONLY IS TWICE AS ANNOYING, WHILE STILL MAINTAINING PERVERTEDNESS AND CONSTANT SWEARING!

Plus, Drake sounds like Kanye.

But +1 for B.o.B. Reference

My Rating: D-

Monday, August 2, 2010

(M) Cam's Top 15 Songs Part 4

#5

Artist: The Script
Song: The Man Who Can't Be Moved
Genre: Adult Contemporary/Pop
Parent Advisory: None
Other Songs I like from this artist: Breakeven, We Cry, Before the Worst
First Lyrics: "Going Back to the Corner Where I first Saw you, gonna Camp in my Sleeping Bag, I'm Not gonna move."

The above lyrics are the single best first lyrics to any song I've ever heard. Can you not tell that you're headed for greatness?

The song is another story, following a brokenhearted man who camps at the street corner his former love and he used to love, waiting for her to come back. Now bearing in mind that his former love may never pass that street corner again and very well may have moved halfway across the world, that shows either extreme insanity or extreme love. I like to think of the latter.

#4

Artist: Mumford and Sons
Song: Dustbowl Dance
Genre: Bluegrass/Alternative
Parent Advisory: None
Other Songs I like from this artist: Little Lion Man
First Lyrics: "The young man stands on the edge of his porch. The days were short and the father was gone "

I will admit, sometimes it gets a bit tricky to write about these songs because the reason I like them are usually the same. This song branches off in its own direction.

This song is like a good movie. It starts off quiet, tranquil sounding for its anxious story. And it builds up, into the second set of lyrics, where the lead singer starts furiously belting out his lyrics at his "accuser." It tells an amazing story that hooks you on the edge of your seat, and then it explodes into the music solo. The most epic music I have heard in a long time. And then the song dies down into a confession from the only son, said with a sense of defeat.

Just talking about this song makes me want to go listen to it, it's that good.

#3

Artist: B.o.B. ft Hayley Williams
Song: Airplanes
Genre: Rap/Rock
Parent Advisory: Brief Use of 'The "S" word', other than that, completely clean, and a clean version can almost certainly be found.
Other Songs I Like From This Artist: Really, this guy has one of the best albums of the year. All his music is enjoyable, although I prefer songs like Magic and Don't Let me Fall.
First Lyrics: "Can We Pretend That Airplanes In The Night Sky Are Like Shooting Stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now."

And so begins the future Oscar Winner of 2010.

Who doesn't love this song? The lyrics are brilliant, the music is original, and who hasn't quoted that famous chorus at least once on their Facebook Page?

But let's not forget the case of Airplanes vs Airplanes II. Airplanes II has an amazing cameo from Eminem, who totally steals the song. The problem with II is that there is no flow in the music and rapping. It starts and stops in every verse. Airplanes the Original's lyrics are slightly less powerful, but the flow is there, and it is crystal clear. That's why Airplanes the Original is the one on my list, although II is not something to be missed.

#2

Artist:OneRepublic
Song: Good Life
Genre: Pop
Parent Advisory: Use of a swear word in two lyrics, although we all know "sometimes there's BS that don't work" sometimes.
Other Songs I like from this artist: Pretty Much All Of them
First Lyrics: "Woke up in London yesterday, found myself in the city near Piccadily"

This song has all the strengths of All The Right Moves, in the way that the music is unforgettable, and every element is there and perfect. The drumbeat almost lives up to All The Right Moves, whose drumbeat is my favorite out of pretty much any song. Maybe I shoulda mentioned that... But I digress.

The big difference is that the message here is one I live by. Think of every day as a great day, remind yourself that you are living the good life. Then it really will be. The lyrics are among the best, but, hey, you've got Ryan Tedder jotting them down. Of course they're going to be good.

All right! My number one song pick is tomorrow...unless I'm lazy, then it'll be the next day... or maybe the day after that... O_o

Friday, July 30, 2010

(W) The Runouw.Com Connection (Title Pending) 3rd Rewrite

Introduction-Cameron Johnson’s Note
If you are reading this book, you, my friend, have great taste in reading
In all seriousness, though, show of hands, how many people are wondering “Why are you writing a book featuring some random website? What, do you not get out much? Do you even have a life?” Well, there’s a small story behind that. The first question, I mean.
This site, this Runouw.com thingamajig, is very, uhm, unique. It started out as a flash gaming forum, but evolved into a small community of people from around the world, from places like England, Germany and Australia. Games of the non-flash kind, homemade artwork, homemade music (courtesy of my partner-in-crime Jack Walker) and, of course, stories, came into display, putting strength into the community.
Now most of the stories are about activity on the website, fighting the evil spammers with some mythical power over the internet, which becomes a city. I thought “I could write one of these, but my parents would probably think I’ve been online way too long.” I decided that when I write, I was gonna make the website a subject, not a story. I took ideas I previously had for a police officer story, turned most of them into youth, and voila, you have this story here.
The Beatles were right, though, I got by with a little help from my friends, and by a little, I mean I couldn’t have done it without them. Jack Walker from New York wrote half of the latter portions of the book, which at first was a sequel before I combined the books into one. He also edited most of these chapters. Expect a guest appearance from Alana Starr who writes half of chapter 6 and gives me some incredible yet frank support. And nearly every character was created by someone on said website. In fact, my only true creations were Sam and Dania Eastman. Look at the back of the book for a chart with the character names and online aliases that created them. (You may want to read the book first, because this may tip you off to some of the things in the book.)
I hope you enjoy reading a book like no other, created by people like no other. Seriously.
Cameron Johnson.

Chapter 1-Sam’s Town (Sam narrates)

It’s a beautiful day today. I don’t think it could get any bluer if it tried. There were clouds in the sky, but personally, I like it better that way. The clouds accent the sky so beautifully. The sun was prevalent, but not dominating.

It was too beautiful a day for me to part with my family.

I walked under the airport’s canopy, family ahead of me, as we departed the MAX train. While they disliked the idea of leaving me here while they went to Italy, they had an adventure ahead of them.

My dad, Timothy, turned to me, luggage in tow, and said “Are you sure you want to stay? I mean, Italy is beautiful, and the colleges there are probably amazing! You don’t have to live here if you don’t want to.”

Leave the English language and move to Italy, get adjusted to a whole new nation, a whole new city, a whole new people? The idea seemed staggering. “I’m sorry, Dad.” I told him. “I love you, but this is what I want. Portland is home to me, I mean, I’ve never felt at home before until we moved here.”

Dad nodded. “But of course. It is a frightening concept, moving to Italy. I myself am quite nervous. But work takes me where work takes me.”

I grinned. “Dad, you’re designing a landmark in Venice. If that were me, I wouldn’t think twice.” I sighed, my grin fading. “But it’s not me.”

My sister, Dania, ran up to me with tears in her eyes. She and mom had seen how Dad and I had fallen behind and went to catch up to us. “Sam,” she told me,

“I’m really gonna miss you.”

Man, I felt like I was going to start crying. “Dania, so will I. Promise you won’t forget to write, to call?”

“How could I?” she replied, wiping her eyes. “Good luck with school.”

Tears started to brim the edges of my eyes. “Dania, I love you. Don’t ever forget that.”

Dania wrapped her arms around me. She’s 14, but she’s already my height of 5”11. “I love you too, Sam.” She told me, crying.

A few steps later, we were at their gate, courtesy of pre-paid tickets. At the gate, it was my mom Ellen’s turn to address me.

“Well, you know where Aunt Suzie lives, right?” she asked me.

Leave it to a mom to make sure her son is prepared up till the last minute. “3174 SE 24th, right?”

She nodded. “Our car is parked outside the house. Here are the keys.”

I grinned as she handed me a key. I hooked it on to my keychain.

“And one thing I need to mention, Sam.” She added. “You start school in a week.”

I nodded, until I actually heard what she said. “Really?” I gasped.

Okay, here’s the thing. I’m Autistic. Well, not really Autistic, just sorta Autistic. Am I making any sense here? It’s called Asperger’s syndrome. Mild form. Not that bad, really. But having attended school before, everything was fine up until Middle School. Then personal labels, you know, Jock, Geek, Airhead, were introduced. My mild form of Autism may as well have been total brain damage to these labelers, and I was given the label of Special Ed. Not that I ever did have to go to a special Ed class, and as a matter of fact I smoked most of these kids academically. But the point is that it was heck. I pulled myself out and started to homeschool myself, to my mom’s dismay. But, hey, we did a cross-country move like once every year or two anyways, so the way I see it, I spared myself from being the new kid again. Until now.

Mom nodded. “The way I see it, you need to make some friends and grow a bit socially before you start college. It’s April now, and college starts in September. School ends in May this year. Seems like a decent amount of time to me.”

“Will I graduate if I start now?”

“Sam, you’ve homeschooled yourself better than most parents could. They count that as part of your school year.”

I nodded. A month didn’t seem so bad to me, and Mom was right. “Well, thanks, Mom. I love you.”

She smiled, a tear forming in her eye. “I love you too, Sam, and I’m so proud of you.”

I sighed, waving as I saw my parents disappear into the gate. Peering out a nearby window, I watched as they walked up into the plane. I tried to hold in my tears and fears as I walked back to the Train Station, not quite ready to start my grown-up life but not really having a choice.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

“Hi, Sam!” Aunt Suzie called out from her front porch, Death Cab for Cutie playing from the stereo sitting on her patio table. I have to admit, my Aunt Suzie is quite hip. Or should I say, quite the hipster. Yep, Aunt Suzie was the 31-year Portland-Grown Indie-listening, Stumptown-drinking, blue-hair-sporting sister of my mom. Someone that definitely catches your eye in surprise.

I nodded with my bags in hand, noting that Aunt Suzie lived conveniently across the street from the school I was attending, Cleveland High. “Hello there.” I replied.

“So, I’ve got a room in the back for you, Sam, you can go ahead and get your stuff set up, then why don’t you come out here and enjoy the sunset with me?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Thanks, Aunt Suzie, but no thanks. I’m exhausted; I think I seriously need to turn in early.”

She frowned but nodded. “I totally understand.” She said, fiddling with the stereo. “Good night.” She then turned her attention to the radio and groaned. “Bixby Canyon Bridge always skips…”

I smiled slightly and walked through the house, about as small as it looked on the outside. Upon entering my room, I gently shut the door, full of regret, tossed my bag on my bed and let my fear and regret envelop me in a miniature depression, falling asleep quickly.
__________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning found me unsteadily facing the front doors of Cleveland High School.

Gulp.

I walked in with the help of a brief wave of courage. Upon doing so, the wave left and I almost ran back out. But somehow I had the strength to make it to the front office and get my School ID.

Having accepted the driver’s license-esque badge, I broke into a sprint to where I was told my homeroom was, oblivious to the stares from others. At long last, I ran into my homeroom.

Correction, I ran into someone. The next thing I knew, the girl was on the ground, unmoving. “Oh my god!” I shouted.

Then her eyes broke open. And let me tell you, her eyes were something else. They were wide, for starters, and second, they were a deep violet hue. Very unusual. Wait… look at me rambling on about some random girl’s eyes. Sheesh, emotional exhaustion.

As for the rest of this person, she was about my height, had red braided hair, was probably Eurasian, and a rather, erm, pink fashion sense, dressed as if she was going to a breast cancer rally.

Suddenly, she started to giggle.

“Oh crap, I knocked a screw loose.” I blurted out randomly.

She started cracking up upon me saying that little gem. “I’m okay, I’m okay, seriously! Now, are you gonna keep staring at me or are you gonna help me up?”

I blinked. Holy crap, I really was staring at her like my eyes had a death grip on hers. “Oh, sorry, sorry.” I sighed, shaking the last traces of sleep out of my head. I bet about now we were a class spectacle. I reached down and grabbed her hand, lifting her up slowly. She stood straight as a bow in front of me and said “Thanks, man. Ema Felkis. That’s spelled with one M.”

I nodded. “Sam Eastman. Sorry about that. You okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Got a bit of a headache but it’ll pass.”

I nodded. “I’ll take my seat, then.” I started to search for an empty seat, finding one to a shared desk successfully. Then, in surprise, I watched Ema take the seat next to me, smiling. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to think.

The kid the desk away from me sure did, though. “Good luck, new guy. That desk has been empty all year. Felkis, she’s the most annoying girl in school, I can tell you that.”

I gulped. What had I gotten myself into?

Ema herself rolled her eyes and went to her work. Not having a clue what we were doing, I tried to start mine, luckily getting on track swiftly. Finally, a sign of luck.
___________________________________________________________________________

At lunchtime, I decided to walk over to Burgerville across the street, the best place to get an Ice cream in town. Plus, the burgers, although expensive, were quite good as well. Anything is better than cafeteria food, and cheaper, too. Even Burgerville.

I ordered my food and took a seat. As soon as I started digging in I noticed Ema walk into the building. I practically held my breath until she sat down across from me. I didn’t know if I was disappointed or relieved.

I raised an eyebrow, not looking up from my food. “Are you following me?” I asked her.

“Duh.” She replied. “I noticed you were a new kid, and you look like you could use a friend.”

I looked up at her with a smile. “By the way, how’s your head?”

She grinned. “Got a bump, but otherwise fine. I like to think of it as a little memento from my first and only friend in this school.”

The concept of the social butterfly Ema being a loner in school? Flooring. “Really?” I asked her. “The idea is surprising.”

Her mouth turned down in a slight frown, but her eyes didn’t lose their smile. “Yeah, yeah. Heh, don’t remind me. So, I’ve never eaten here before, how’s the food?”

“You surprise me repeatedly, Ema.” I said in surprise, which right about now was less and less of a surprise. “The food here is great. You’ve never tried it before? It’s always here.”

She giggled at that last statement. “You mean it doesn’t move around on a regular basis?” she quipped, and I threw in a small laugh of my own. “Yeah, usually I don’t have the cash. I live alone, so I gotta work for the dough.”

If I was mildly surprised before, I was nearly knocked on the floor now. “How old are you?”

“19.” Was her response.

“Whoa, seriously?” I asked her. “You seem a lot younger.”

She broke into a full-out grin. “Must be my youthful glow.” She replied. “Yeah, I just moved here from Wyoming.”

“Ema, I’m at a point that nothing you say could surprise me. You could say you’re an alien traveling from space and I could keep a straight face.”

She laughed quite loudly as a response. “You’re a funny kid, Sam.” She told me, casually taking a fry from my tray. I didn’t really mind, I was too busy beaming from that compliment.

“So, where do you work?” I asked her.

“At the University Bookstore downtown.” She replied. “I’m planning on going to that college next year, so I want to get a feel for it.”

I nodded. “Good idea. My parents left me with a scholarship to pretty much any university in town. Right now I’m really talking with the people at Pacific University.”

“Really?” she raised an eyebrow, emotionless. “Sounds good. You’ll have to write.”

“Yeah, I know that the university is about 20 miles from town, but I plan to make it work.” I told her.

Ema pulled a big subject change. “Hey, Didja hear about the school’s Q1 bandit?”

Confusion clouded my face. “Uhm, no. I mean, with a name like that I’d remember. Is he the school mascot?”

She frowned. “Was that the wrong answer?” I asked her nervously.

“Pretty much. This guy is our resident villain. Quadruple-One Bandit, Q1 for short.” Before I could ask where that name came from, she complied automatically. “Q1 always breaks into our school at 11:11pm, every 11th of the month. Really, I thought it’d make sense to call him the sextuple-one bandit, but that just got the freshmen giggling.”

This definitely interested me. “Wow.” I said. “Does anyone know who this guy is?”

Ema smacked her forehead, chuckling. “Sam, if we knew who this guy is, he wouldn’t be robbing our school.”

“True, true.” I realized with a sigh. “So what does this guy take?”

“Anything. It’s always just one thing though. One pencil box, one computer, one the janitor’s keys, it’s pretty much random and obscure, well, up until last time.” She frowned slightly and said “One of our students donated his Spelling Bee Trophy from last year to the school. It was the target of his last heist. The school’s pretty serious about catching the guy now.” Suddenly, her face lit up in a brainstorm, and I wasn’t sure I liked that.

“Sam, I just got the greatest idea!” she shouted, causing people to stare at us.

“Oh, lawdy, lawdy, lawdy.” I muttered.

Ignoring me, she continued on a high of inspiration. “Today’s April 29th, right? Well, in 12 days, he’ll strike again, only this time, we’ll be ready for him.”

I looked at her in surprise. “Okay, I take it back. You still can surprise me. You and I will be ready for him. You and me. Alone. Seriously?”

“No, silly.” She told me. “I have a young friend that goes to Lane Middle school. One of the smartest kids you’ll ever meet. 13 years old. He can help us out. Plus, there’s a medal of honor for the best act of community service. We could totally win it!”

I laughed. “You must have a lot of confidence in us. I mean, we’re gonna stop a criminal. Seriously?”

She gave me a harsh look. “Hey, Sam, don’t start doubting me because then I’ll start doubting me and the whole idea’s heading to hell.”

I sighed. “Okay, okay, sorry.”

Instantly the grin of inspiration covered her face again. “I’ll take you over to the community center off of Harold Street, you know, Mount Scott, after school today to introduce you two and get some ideas planned out.” She checked her watch. “Oh holy heck it’s time to go!” She grabbed my arm. “Run, Sam, run like your life depends on it!”

Keeping a comment about over-exaggeration on my tongue, I followed her back to the school and into math class, just in time, too.

“Remember, Sam.” She whispered. “Mt. Scott. 3:30pm, you, me and Mic. Who knows, catching this guy could totally change our lives!”

I would find out later how right she would turn out to be.







Chapter 2- The Plan of Attack-Jack Walker

"There he is!"

It was 4:30, and my new friend Ema and I were walking to the Mt. Scott Community Center. Ema pointed to a scrawny little kid, no more than five feet tall and wearing really nerdy glasses, standing by a tree outside.

"That's him?" I said incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"That's what I thought when I first met him…"
She then started to lead me into a momentary flashback…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hi! Mind if I sit next to you?"

I looked up. A scrawny little kid, no more than five feet tall and wearing really nerdy glasses, was standing in front of me. He couldn't have been more than ten years old, maybe eleven. Great, I thought. The last thing I need is an obnoxious kid distracting me while I'm trying to do my insanely hard Calculus homework.

"Of course!" I said. Man, sometimes I wish I wasn't so nice.

"Thanks!" he replied, sitting next to me on the park bench. "My name's Mic. Mic Davis."

"Ema Felkis. Nice to meet you." I quickly went back to work on my homework, hoping that he would get the message that I wasn't interested in talking. Silly me.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked.

"Calculus homework." I thought for a moment. He probably didn't know what calculus is. "Calculus-"

"Calculus? Ooh, I love calculus!" The kid was practically jumping out of his seat. "What topic is the homework on?"

I stared at the kid. OK, I've seen plenty of weird things in my life, but there is no way this kid knows calculus. "How old are you?" I asked, trying to verify my assumption.

"Fourteen." He leaned over my paper. "Oh, you're doing concavity of functions? That's easy! Calculate the second derivative, and solve for f''(x) greater than zero, which gives you the interval for which the concavity is upward, and f''(x) less than zero, which gives you the interval for which the concavity is downward."

OK, so maybe I was wrong. "Here, can you show me on paper?" I handed Mic my pencil and notebook. I was starting to like this kid.

"Sure," he said…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"He knows calculus?" I said, stunned. "Man, I just turned nineteen and I'm autistic, and I don't even get calculus!"

At that moment, Mic looked up from a book he was reading and saw us. His face lit up and he ran over to us. "Hey Ema!" he said. He then looked at me. "You Sam?" he asked.

"Sam I am," I replied, remembering my Dr. Seuss. Mic smiled and held out a hand. "Mic. Pleasure to meet you, Sam!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, the Quadruple-One Bandit will be striking again on May 11, the day before graduation. You guys are hoping that by doing this, we'll all get this Medal of Honor thingy, right?"

The three of us were sitting under the tree planning for their apprehension of the Quadruple-One Bandit. Well, Mic was really doing most of the planning while Ema and I sat there pretending to look smart. But you get the point. Speaking of points…

"That brings me to my next point," continued Mic. "So, our criminal seems to be going after more valuable stuff each time, right? So what, on the eve of graduation, might he or she be planning to steal?"

Ema and I sat there thoughtfully. Mic was hinting at something, but for a few seconds I couldn't think what. Then it hit me…

"The medal of honor! Of course! What could disrupt graduation more and be more valuable?"

Mic beamed at me. "Exactly. That will tell us where to position ourselves. Where is the medal kept?"

"In a locked glass case in the Principal's Office," said Ema.

"Good. Where is that in relation to entrances and windows?"

"Well, there aren't really any nearby doors," Ema replied, "but there is a large window in the Principal's Office through which somebody could enter."

"So, if two of us are stationed outside the window and one inside the Principal’s Office, we should be able to catch the bandit easily." Mic paused, and then continued. "We will all have walkie-talkies. Whoever is stationed outside will walkie-talkie when they see the bandit coming, all right? Then whoever is inside will walkie-talkie as soon as the bandit has left. That way, we can be sure to be timed perfectly."

"OK," I said. "But who's going in?"

"Well," Mic said, "I'm smallest, so I can fit through the window easiest, so I'll go. Sound like a plan?"

Ema and I looked at each other. I certainly was impressed by how thought out the plan was. "I'm game," I said.

"Me too," added Ema.
"Great!" Mic said, grinning. "We'll meet in front of the school at 10:45 on the 11th."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

22:45, May 11

OK, don't ask me why I'm using military time. I guess it just makes it sound more awesome.

Anyway, there I was, standing in front of the school. It was raining and unusually chilly for a May night, and in my light jacket I was quite cold. Great, I thought. This is probably some huge practical joke to get me out here late at night and freeze to death over some bandit that doesn't even exist. Ema and Mic are probably sitting in a heated house watching TV, eating popcorn, and cracking up over my stupidity. I sighed. Maybe I should just go home.

I turned around to start walking home only to see Ema and Mic only a few feet away coming towards me. "Hi!" I said happily as they approached.

"Hey Sam!" Ema said.

Mic didn't greet me. I guess he was all business. He handed Ema and I each a walkie-talkie. "Now, you guys know what to do with these. The most important thing is not to talk when the bandit is in earshot. Also, do not be seen! Station yourselves near the window, but don't stand right in front of it so he sees you when he enters. Good luck." And with that, he turned to face the wall, hoisted himself up onto a ledge, and climbed through the window.

"Good luck!" I called after him. Only seconds after I said that, I heard glass shattering. I pushed a button on my walkie-talkie and said, "Mic, you all right? What happened?"

"Nothing," Mic said, aggravated. "Just knocked over a flower vase."

"Are you hurt?" said Ema.

"No," Mic said. "Don't worry. Just get ready."

Ema and I exchanged glances, and then she said somewhat worriedly, "All right."

I then said to Ema. "I'll go a little to the left of the window and you to the right. As soon as he goes through, we move closer so we can tackle him as soon as he comes out."

"All right," said Ema. "Good luck."

"Yeah, you too," I responded, and then moved along the wall of the school building. I found a nice spot around a corner and sat down to wait.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

23:30, May 11th

Look. It was past 11:00 at night, it was pitch-dark, and I was tired, and had nothing to do. So it's not exactly my fault that I dozed off, and consequently missed nearly the entire episode. However, I will recount it as best I can through what Mic, Ema, and the police told me.

At 11:10, Ema saw a masked man walking towards the school building. Then she walkie-talkied Mic, who acknowledged. The man removed his shoes just in front of the window, which Ema deduced was done in order to not leave footprints in the office, since it was raining and the bandit's shoes were probably muddy. As soon as the bandit climbed through the window, Ema moved closer. She waited for a minute for me to come, but then realized that something was wrong. Freaking out, she walkie-talkied Mic to inform him of this, alerting the bandit to his presence. Chaos ensued as the bandit rounded on Mic, who was hiding under the principal's desk, and pulled out a gun. Mic was too slow to get up and would have been shot had the barefoot bandit not stepped on the broken glass from the vase Mic knocked over. He howled with pain, and quickly turned, medal around his neck, and climbed out the window, blood dripping from his left foot.

Unfortunately, Mic was still in the Principal's Office and I was sleeping, so only Ema was left to tackle the bandit, and even with his injured foot, the bandit easily overpowered Ema, punching her in the temple and knocking her out. Mic then flew out the window and started chasing after the bandit. The bandit, who could not move very quickly, was easily overtaken. A fistfight ensued, but with the same result: Mic was knocked out by a punch to the temple. The criminal, satisfied, turned to leave.

"Stop!" I cried.

The Quadruple-One Bandit turned and faced me. I had been woken by his cry of pain from stepping on the glass and only made it just in time to stop him. The only problem was that I didn't really have a plan on how to stop him. He grinned and took out his gun, a pistol. "Sorry, kid," he said menacingly. "You shouldn't have gotten in my way. Now, don't move."

The bandit walked up to me and then proceeded to knock me out by hitting me on the head with his gun. Guess he didn't want to kill me. But, I had distracted him long enough to prevent him from escaping before the police arrived. Quickly, the bandit removed the medal and placed it around my neck, removed his mask and threw it in some nearby bushes, then tried to flee the scene.

"Hey you!" cried a policeman, pointing a gun in the direction of the bandit. "Stop right there!"

The bandit limped towards the police and explained that he had caught three criminals trying to steal a medal of some kind from the school, the criminals being Mic, Ema, and I. He had been injured in the process, however, and was leaving the scene to seek help.

Roughly around this point in time, Mic, Ema, and I all regained consciousness. We were immediately handcuffed by the police and led towards a police car. "Yep," one of them said. "This one's got the medal around his neck." And sure enough, I looked down and saw the medal was indeed around my neck.

"Hey wait a minute!" I cried. "We're being framed! He's the criminal; he knocked me out and put the medal around my neck!"

"Sorry, sonny," said the cop leading us, "but you'll have to convince the court of that."

"Wait," said Mic. "The medal was kept in a locked glass case in the Principal's Office. So, if that's the case, there must have been a key, right? The glass case isn't broken; you can check the Principal's Office to confirm that. So I bet you that if you search your little friend over there, he's got the key on him."

The cop stared at us, and then looked at the bandit, who was receiving medical attention. "Worst thing that happens is that you turn up nothing and arrest us," continued Mic. "But justice won't be served if you don't search him for the key and he does in fact have it on him."

The cop nodded and told one of his colleagues to search the Quadruple-One Bandit. To the great surprise of the bandit, he did have the key. The three of us were let go and the true bandit was handcuffed.

"Now I'm being framed!" he protested as he was led away.

"I hate to break it to you kid," Said the cop, "but it's a lot easier for you to frame three unconscious people than it is for three unconscious people to frame you."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Mic, Ema, and I received the Medal of Honor for catching the Quadruple-One Bandit. The Quadruple-One Bandit was none other than a 9th Grade English Teacher at the school, Mr. Barton. He was later sentenced for 25 years in prison.

After the graduation ceremony ended and Ema and I received our diplomas, we went over to Mt. Scott Community Center and rehashed the events of the previous night under the same tree that we had made our plans for those events.

"Here's what I don't understand," I said. "How did you pull that off Mic?"

Mic smiled. "Simple, really. Before he arrived, I found the key, which I correctly guessed was in the room, and left it right next to the case. The bandit didn't have any reason to find anything odd about that. The principal wasn't anticipating the bandit, so the principal could easily have left the key lying around anywhere. After removing the medal from the case, the bandit left the key where he found it. I didn't climb out the window in enough time to aid Ema because I had to grab the key again. Then, when we got into the fistfight, I planted the key on him in case something unplanned occurred and we needed another way to prove his guilt. And, I also tipped off the police that somebody might try and steal something from the school around 11:15 before I left with Ema to meet you."

"Brilliant!" said Ema. "Yeah, that was a little close, but all's well that ends well, I suppose."

At that moment, a woman of maybe a little over twenty years of age came up to us. Very easy to spot, she had long blue hair, to the point that I almost mistook her for Aunt Suzie. "Are you the three who solved the Quadruple-One Bandit case?" she asked.

"Yes," Ema said.

"My name is Buffy Clark," she said, pulling out a badge. "I'm a police officer, and I want you to come with me."


Chapter 3-The Force-C. Johnson

We were in downtown Portland, the justice center to be exact, and considering that Buffy Clark had never quite told us why she wanted us to go with her, I was mentally freaking out. Ema, however, that’s a different story. She was grinning ear-to-ear, occasionally stealing glances at me and winking. Mic was the happy medium between us, totally indifferent to what was going on.

About 5 minutes after our arrival, Buffy walked into the room and sat at her desk. All the tension I had brought into the room was broken with the word “Congratulations.” Suddenly, I broke into a full grin. Buffy continued “We had absolutely no leads on this Quadruple-Bandit other than the 11:11 on the 11th of the month. And every month, we missed him as if he were never there. How you guys managed to do it I would like to know.”

Ema grinned and almost instantaneously after Buffy spoke, she elaborated “It was mostly Mic’s intellect. Plus word gets around school, so I came up with the idea to catch the bandit.”

She looked at me and added. “Sam… well… he stalled the bandit… by being knocked out, but mind you, he stalled the bandit. Technique doesn’t matter too much when you’re stalling.”

Buffy smiled. “Well, I have an offer for Miss Felkis and Mr. Davis. How would you too like to train to be police officers or investigators?”

Mic grinned full-on, suddenly caring. “Seriously? That would be so awesome!”

Ema’s mouth twitched at a grin. “What about Sam?” she asked.

Buffy gave me a sideways glance and, stretching out her words, said “I don’t think we can use him.”

Ema frowned. “Hey, Sam was just as big a part of this as we were. He risked his life out there, just like us.”

“Yes, but he really didn’t do anything to intentionally help us. He’s just not for us.”

I rolled my eyes. “Hey, I know when I’m not wanted. Good luck guys,” and headed for the door until Ema stopped me in my tracks by saying “Either he joins us or I walk out with him. Deal?”

Mic shrugged. “I’m not. I don’t know him that well.”

I frowned. “Your team spirit is much appreciated, Mic.”

Mic shrugged and faced Buffy again, who was sitting in her chair, hand on forehead in frustration and thought. Finally, she looked up at us, Mic in a beanbag chair, Ema in a normal chair, me standing with the door open. “All right, Miss Felkis.” She said, never losing the formality. “I’ll give him a shot, but just so you know, he’s on thin ice.”

“Fair enough.” Ema nodded. “Sam, come take a chair with the rest of us interns.”

I smiled and sat in the seat next to her.

“Now, this would be just like having the normal job, only you’ll have me as guidance. You’ll take a couple weeks training and then you’ll have a tough case to solve. You solve that, Ema and Sam are in. Sorry, Mic, child labor laws. We’d be glad to have you as an intern with Sam and Ema if such an event occurs. You’d basically be their junior partner-ish-type-thing.” She chuckled. “Sorry, this is the first time the Police Force has ever had someone as young as you.”

Mic nodded. “I had a feeling. Still, sounds like fun.”

Buffy nodded. “Well, you’ll be stationed at Penumbra Kelly Juvenile Hall, on 47th and Burnside. I will see you at 8am Monday to start your training.” We all nodded simultaneously. “Well, you’re free to go. Have a nice day.” She concluded, causing us to walk out of her office, calling out our farewells.

Mic bid Ema and me farewell on the outside of the building. “Well, I can get home faster from here on the bus, so I officially bid you farewell. Have fun!”

I raised an eyebrow. “With what?”

But Mic was already halfway down the street, sprinting.

“Uhm… okay, see ya.” I called out.

“See ya, Mic!” Ema followed suit as we turned around and started walking through Lownsdale Square. Smiling, I faced her and with a hint of red on my cheeks, told her “Thanks so much for saving my spot back in the building.”

“Aw, that?” she giggled. “Oh, that was totally selfish. Wouldn’t have been a team without you.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Wow, thanks. I just wonder about College.”

Ema frowned in thought as we sat by the soldier’s memorial. “Oh, yeah, about that. I’m not sure, really. I may start now; I mean, I already got a condo bought in the CyanPDX complex right by college, which, by the way, is really freaking expensive, as well as college, which, by the way, is really freaking expensive as well.”

“What course Didja take?” I asked her, before noticing that my hand was on hers. I gently pulled away, mumbling an apology. Ignoring my apology as if she didn’t notice, she replied with “Architecture. That’s what drew me into Portland. Cyan PDX has beautiful architecture, as well as many awesome buildings in town. I would love to add to the tradition; hence, I attend college abroad.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re from Wyoming, right?” I asked.

“Yep, and somehow I managed to escape without an accent.” She replied, a hint of bragging in her voice. “Where are you from?”

“Vancouver, Canada, at first.” I prepared to explain. “You see, my dad is a traveling artist, and we moved a lot. This move, I didn’t join. I loved Portland too much. I wanted to settle down.”

“That’s one thing we have in common.” She responded. “What are you gonna go to college for?”

“Photography.” I responded.

“Interesting choice.” She responded, but decided not to push the matter further. “But I suppose we could always start college now, during the training, take some summer courses. Then if police work doesn’t, well, work, we start college full-time.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I said. “Shall we shake hands on it?”

She nodded with a full-on grin and nodded, grabbing my hand and shaking it vigorously. “Well, Sam, it has been a great experience to meet you. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

I beamed and agreed. “Me either. I’d better go. Have a great evening.”

She released her grip and, with a smile, started toward the nearby MAX station. Nearly dazed, I started to walk back to my own bus stop.

Chapter 4
(Sam Narrates)

The next day I packed up and moved to college. The college we picked out was really far away from the police station, but, hey, I didn’t care to think about that, did I? Cause back then, I wasn’t about to join the police.

I bid Aunt Suzie goodbye, Death Cab for Cutie playing perpetually on her porch and took a taxi with what little stuff I had to Pacific College, 20 miles away. There, I walked down past the cherry blossoms and into the main building, where someone directed me to my dorm.

Upon entering, I saw three people, two girls and one, erm, rather large male, sitting at a small dining table. “Uh, hi.” I said nervously, setting my stuff down. “Sorry if I interrupted your meal or anything.”

One of the girls got up. Her I recognized as my cousin, Sara, Aunt Suzie’s daughter. “Hi, Sam!” she grabbed me in a big hug. “Nice to see you!”
I chuckled. “Hi, Sara. What are you guys eating?”

“Oh, we got some food from Sonic. I got some extra cause I knew you’d be here tonight.”

Sara was her mother’s daughter. A tattoo on her arm, short blue hair, an eyebrow piercing, she totally looked the part of the hipster. Although, she wasn’t, really. I didn’t know much but I did know she had little behavioral resemblance to her mother. Guess she just liked the look.

I sat at the table, only to be scowled at by the other girl. She was actually quite pretty, but I had a feeling that sharing a kitchen with her wasn’t gonna be the definition of enjoyable.

The guy stood out to me most. He motioned for me to sit down and said “So you’re Sara’s cousin?”

I nodded.

He groaned and said “There goes all the hazing ideas I had.” Before I could gasp, he winked. I chuckled and got a burger and fry. I started to eat, hoping that college would go well. Photography classes started the next day. But that’s not what I was worried about.

__________________________________________________________________________________

One month later, I walked into Penumbra Kelly, and sat in the lobby. A nice enough station, nothing above average, but I could get used to it. I plopped down on the bench and waited for the rest of the crew.

It had been about a month, and our training was complete. Exhausting, but complete. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and Mic nearly shot Ema once. Ah, the joy of learning. Buffy had smacked her forehead so many times I was afraid she was gonna have permanent hand marks in her forehead. In other news, my parents texted me a month ago telling me they had gotten a new number and were going to call me with it. That was a month ago, so, yeah, I was getting worried.

I snapped back to the present when I heard the door swing open, and saw Ema walk through, big grin on her face as she ran over to sit next to me. She had a full-on grin on her face, even her eyes were smiling, which somehow is possible, I guess. She grabbed my hands in excitement and said “Can you believe it, Sam?” she asked me in glee. “Today’s the day!”

I nodded. “Yeah, I don’t think I could be more excited than you, though. How’s college going?”

“Good, good. But still, if we pass this, we have a set career track for life! How amazing is that?”

It was impossible to not be excited with her enthusiasm, so I nodded.

Mic was next to walk in, grinning slightly. Ema grinned ear-to-ear and said “Today’s the day!”

“I am pretty sure you’ve made us aware of that.” Mic smirked.

I chuckled. “Hey, don’t crap on her party.”

Ema started to crack up, causing me to worry about her sanity. She sighed with a smile and said “Ah, sorry. I didn’t get any sleep last night and drank a whole pot of coffee. That may be why I’m so short.”

“Short?” I laughed. “You’re as tall as I am, and that’s saying something!”

She giggled. “True, true. When’s Buffy going to get here? I’m not sure I can wait another minute!”

“Present.” A British-Tinged voice called out. We searched for the source, successfully finding her near the door.

“Good timing, Buffy.” I smiled.

“Actually, I was here the whole time.” She admitted. “I was just waiting for someone to ask where I was. Makes my entrance a little cooler.”

Ema leapt up. “I’m ready for whatever you have to throw at me!”

Buffy nodded and threw her a folder. In her excitement, she didn’t notice it until it hit her chest and fell on the floor. “Well,” she corrected herself, catching her breath, “everything except that.”

Buffy laughed as she handed Mic and I folders of our own. “For the record,” she made sure to note, “These are top-secret files. Share them with nobody, or you face jail time.”

“Whoa,” was the involuntary gasp that escaped my mouth.

She smiled weakly. “Hey, I don’t make the laws.”

I opened my folder and saw a paper with a summary of a case on it. The rest of the folder contained blank pages. “Well, thanks Buffy, but I brought my laptop. I’ll probably use that as opposed to that primitive stuff you call paper.”

“You’re good with technology?” she asked me. I nodded, to which she responded “Good, because our victim for this case was as well.”

“Victim?” Ema gasped, dropping her folder again. “Was? You don’t mean…”

“I do.” Buffy’s voice was grim. “Your case is a murder.”

Ema sat on the bench, the excitement seemed to be knocked out of her, and she seemed to replace it with nervousness. “God, I hate death. I mean, I can’t kill a cockroach.” She grimaced. “And I hate cockroaches.”

Buffy’s response was a slight smile. “Then you’ll do well. Anyway, gather around and we’ll get started, eh?”

I pulled up my laptop, bag and all, into, well, my lap, and got ready to take notes. “Ready.” I announced. Ema hesitantly joined our little circle and said “Well, I was the one that wanted this. It would be pretty stupid to back out now.” Mic joined the last, saying “Sorry, I was updating my Facebook. What were you saying?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Wow, Mic. So I trust you’ll be the one to break our privacy for a few people to hit the like button?”

Mic nodded with a smart-aleck grin across his face. I slammed my forehead onto my keyboard. This was gonna be a joy, wasn’t it?

Buffy ignored him and said “I ask you to hold all questions till the end. Agreed?”

The three of us nodded.

Buffy smiled and continued. “Well, our victim is Rob Stevens, an 18-year old student of the local ITT-Tech. He has been a grade-A student throughout all his classes, and he specialized in Video Game Creation, but his creations were limited to the internet and its games under his online name, Runouw. Where he got that name I will never know. Most notably, he owned a forum that was a social hub for many people around the world, but mostly for his friends and fans in Portland. That narrows our options down a bit right there. So, we find our residents who were most affected by Rob Stevens recently. Any questions?”

We all raised our hands.

“Good. That’s what you’re supposed to find out. I’ll be observing you from a distance. Good luck!” Buffy trotted off into her office. I didn’t even know if she could see us, but, hey, she probably had work to do… heck, she was probably in there playing Farmville. But I digress.

I sighed and said “Well, let’s get started. Any questions?”

Ema smiled wanly and said “Well, I do, but I doubt you know the answer.”

“Ah, but if we all put our questions in, it’ll be that much easier to find our answers.”

Mic smirked. “Well, I’ve got so many I could alphabetize them. So you start.”

I took in a deep breath “Well, after all the usual questions, I am left with this- what connections does the site have with him dying? Does it even have a connection?”

Ema smiled. “Well, there is only one way to find out. You’ve got a laptop. We have Wi-Fi. Give it a try?”

I groaned. Wi-Fi. My biggest Pet Peeve. It tops getting beef stuck in your teeth, Ke$ha, losing power all-of-a-sudden on your phone, teenagers being portrayed as jerks on commercials, distant relatives sending you Facebook game crap, and flip-flops. “Here’s a better idea, Ema. Why don’t we go to the library?”

She giggled, but I sensed a hint of impatience in the brief laugh. “Yeah, well, why did you bring your computer here if you’re not gonna use the Wi-Fi?”

I have to admit, she got me there. “Crap. Okay, I’ll try.”

She smiled at me. “You’ll do. Not try. Remember that for me, ‘kay?”

I was in no position or ability to either argue or forget those words.

To make a long story short, it took 5 minutes to catch a signal, mixed in with a swear word or two that, as Ema pointed out, were of no service to my task. Mic had been stifling his laughter in the entire time and finally, he hissed in an effort to hold it in “You never have seen Law and Order, have you?”
I nodded. “So?” Then I realized what he meant in a moment of shock and self-deprecation. “Oh, duh, they already have computers.” Mic burst out laughing, which is odd because I didn’t find it all that funny. Neither did Ema, apparently, as she stayed abnormally stoic.

Proving my earlier theory, Buffy called out “Out of order, just use the laptop. I mean, it won’t kill you.”

I groaned, realizing we wasted a good 10 minutes on this and about half a page, too. I got to logging in again, this time more lucky. I typed in said address, and went to the front page, where an unusual sight lay ahead of me.

“Guys, we got our first clue.” I announced, “The site’s been shut down.”

Ema looked at me. “Really?” she said. “Now who would do that, and why?”

“Well, each website, deep down, has its internal memory. No matter what, we can find it, if we get some hacker on it. Do we have a hacker?” I asked.

Buffy called out “Avo Richardson. He's our specialty hacker. He can get you in.”

Sunday, July 25, 2010

(T) What a lot of you may not agree with (but let's hope to God I don't get attacked by the media and lose some mythical Job)

Well, here goes.

I am proud to say that I am a youth without an ID.

However, this has turned me into a second class bus rider. I am not an adult, I am a kid, and therefore I need ID in order to even be accepted on the bus sometimes. Mostly, they don't ask, but when they do, and I am forced to admit I do not have it, I get dirty looks, threats, and although I have not yet, it could get me kicked off of the bus. I don't recall this situation very well, but I do believe a teenager was arrested once for not having ID and was given a ticket.

To my horror, this sounds like most forms of large, sensitive areas of discrimination. And we here are not discriminated for being without an ID, we are discriminated for being youth. Why do I say this? Well, are adults forced to carry around ID cards or be kicked off of the bus? And while Senior Citizens are supposed to, who's gonna kick one of them off a bus?

So, simply put, Youth are second class bus riders.

You probably put this in place to avoid fare evasion. First off, why are you only trying to stop Youth from evading fares? Is it part of an assumption that Youth are more likely to evade fares than grownups? Second, maybe to avoid fare evasion, try not raising fares every year, even years that TriMet is doing good and gas is going down. In fact, these fare increases you are pushing are just going to drive the few youth that DO evade fares to need to more, and even more people will start. And so will adults, and even senior citizens.

You may say that school IDs make up for this, as well as the school bus pass program. But what about Summertime? What about those who do not attend major high schools, attend middle school or even are homeschooled, like I. Maybe you could start reaching the program out to them, and consider overall that the cost and the process of getting an ID is complicated from what I hear.

Overall, you seriously need to fix up the system for the youth. We are discriminated, often ignored and there is little we are able to do about it, considering you plan your meetings during the early morning, during school hours and when most youth can finally snag the opportunity to sleep in. All in all, I really needed to get that off of my chest.

(M) Cam's Top 15 Songs Part 3

Alright! Part 3/5! Songs #8-#6

#8

Artist: Journey
Song: Don't Stop Believing
Genre: Classic Rock
Parent Advisory?: I don't THINK so...
Other Songs I like from this artist: None
First Lyrics: Oh, come on, we ALL know the first few lyrics.
"Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world. She took the midnight train going anywhere..."

You must be living under a rock to have never heard of this song at all. It's legendary.

To be honest, I'm not much of a classic rock guy at all. In fact, I only have about 5-10 songs that I like that are pre 1995, and only one on this list, too. And this is it.

Everything about this song is historic. The piano at the beginning- historic. The lyrics- historic. The Guitar riffs- historic. Everything about this song is legendary. And I don't think I'll ever forget it.

And does anyone else remember its use in The Soprano's? I didn't even watch the show, I just You-Tubed the ending after hearing about it, and to this day I still like to pause the song for a moment at the time the song was interrupted in respect to that awesome, if not sadistic ending.

#7

Artist: Vampire Weekend
Song: Giving Up The Gun
Genre: Alternative
Parent Advisory?: Nope.
Other Songs I Like from this artist: Johnathan Low, A-Punk, Cousins
First Lyrics: "Your Sword's Grown Old and Rusty, but Beneath a Rising Sun."

Vampire Weekend is one of a kind. Every song is unlike anything I've ever heard, and this song shines as their best. As soon as you hear the first note, you know you're heading for greatness.

Again, the lyrics are amazing on this, as they are for most of my favorites. But the big difference is that these lyrics are so visual, you can see it so well in your mind's eye. And no detail is forgotten in this song's music. Every sound is unique and distinguished.

This is the perfect gateway drug into Vampire Weekend, if not Alternative Music as a whole.

#6

Artist: Coldplay
Song: Lovers In Japan
Genre: Rock/Alternative
Parent Advisory: None
Other Songs From this Artist I like: Wow... Just play any Coldplay song at any time and I have a new favorite song of the moment.
First Lyrics: "Lovers, Keep on the road you're on."

Wow.

If you're not absolutely blown away by this song the first time you hear it, then I'd be shocked.

Someday someone's gonna write a total history of Music of this decade, and Coldplay will probably have their own chapter. These guys are professionals. And this song is addicting.

Most notable is the music. Every sound is amazing, but the lyrics have their own sort of order to them too that is very notable.

"Lovers, keep on the road you're on,
Runners, until the race is won.
Soldiers, you've got to soldier on.
Sometimes, even the right is wrong."

Take out the first word of each verse and it makes sense still, if not even more sense.

This song is very true to the band, its music... well, you'll have to hear for yourself, and the lyrics are cleverly written. This song is an example of Coldplay's greatness.

Well, I'm too stumped to write any more, although I do think I have the order of the songs worked out in my head. Feel free to comment!